As nomadic or digital professionals, when do you really ‘settle down’ in a country? We may feel it is contrary to our nature. Being constantly on the move or jumping between countries from one expatriate posting to another, seems antithetical to the words settle and down. It may even be a coping mechanism for some of us. Never attaching ourselves to one place in particular can help combat feelings of homesickness and loneliness. It also means no sad goodbyes if we never get attached to one place in particular. However I feel the better way to think about settling in somewhere is you need to at least give a part of yourself to your new home. If you never open up to your current destination and the people who live there, you may never feel ‘at home’.

The longer we stay at our postings the longer these protective layers we’ve set up are peeled back. That feeling of ‘this is really happening’ settles in. Honestly, it’s a good moment to have. Because you stop lying to yourself, you stop living in memories of previous postings and past houses. It means you can finally settle in and enjoy what your unique location has to offer for you. We can learn anything from anywhere, if our hearts are open and ready.

Even if you wished everything to stay the way it was, your hair won’t allow it.

So here I have for you, 5 signs to look out for. They indicate that despite everything that’s been going, you are beginning to call this new place of yours home.

Giving people your local number

When I first arrived in Istanbul I thought I could live with 3 phone numbers! My one from home, my wife’s home country, and my local Turkish number. This quickly became too much to bear. I was missing out on conversations, and replying days late. I’m slowly adapting and changing over to one number. Keeping the others active in case I really need it.

We may try to keep our numbers as a way to keep that memory alive. That yes we do come from somewhere else and we have a community and network in our home countries who matter to us. However in some ways we’re also making it difficult on ourselves. Why not give your friends and family back home your new number so you can stay in contact with them on the number you use most. Using your local phone number means you’ve accepted that this is where you live. You are no longer pushing the truth away and you are finally trying to settle into somewhere new. It also doesn’t keep any of your loved ones in the dark, which is also really important.

Your first local haircut

When you arrive in your new destination, it may be hard to comprehend that you are actually in another city or country. It can feel like time is on pause while you are still trying to get used to your new home and settle in. However time goes on. Your friends, family, and the locals in the area are all continuing on with their lives. Thankfully our body has a way of reminding us that the march of time stops for no-one; our hair.

There’s a particular book I read a while back. It spoke a lot about how times works in a funny way while we’re trying to settle into a new place. Check it out for here, you may be surprised by what the book is!

Even if you wished everything to stay the way it was, your hair won’t allow it. Eventually you will need to keep appearances and get a haircut. This can actually be an extremely daunting process. In a new city, you don’t have favourite places anymore. No groceries or shops you’ve been to all your life. You might find reviews online, but sooner or later you will need to enter into the unknown and walk into a barber shop.

The intimidation doesn’t stop after that! You enter into a room full of locals. You need to talk to at least one person (potentially in a foreign language) and then you put yourself in a vulnerable position in allowing someone to touch your hair.

There’s also a bunch of cultural norms for hairdressers too. Are you somewhere where they offer a scalp massage after a haircut? Are you in a place where you lean forward instead of backwards to wash your hair?

Getting this kind of social interaction from strangers who may not even speak your language can be tough. There are many such experiences that global nomads need to go through, in order to finally feel like you’ve settled down; both at home and in their own skin. So check out this article here for more skills all expats need!

Hair cuts are up close and personal. Consider this experience throwing yourself into the deep end. You may be putting it off, but ultimately you will swim in local society better. The cutting of your hair is also symbolic of settling in and becoming something new. Again, as you shed your hair you also shed some of those boundaries you’ve put up against your new location.

Relying on Local Time

This is similar to the point about the phone number. When I first arrived in Istanbul, my laptop was still in Australian time. My phone was both Australian and Malaysian time. That way I could I always know what time it was wherever my family was. Of course, I couldn’t keep operating in multiple time zones for long.

Whenever I needed to check the time for myself, there was always some math involved. How many hours did I need to add on? Or was it easier to subtract? Was it daylight savings or not? The time difference between Australia and Malaysia is never more than 3 hours. So I was always able to convert times in my head. However with the difference being around 8 hours I was getting confused a lot. Not changing the times on my phone was more annoying now than convenient.

It also meant that I wasn’t really living in my own moment. I’m a big proponent of having visual or other memory cues to prompt your brain to think. So for me, never changing or adjusting my devices to local time was a sign that I wasn’t ready to settle down. Mentally was still somewhere else. I hadn’t had time to process the fact that I was now living in a new home, in a new country. Seeing the local time whenever you look at your watch or your phone is a strong visual reminder of where you are.

Running out of those initial supplies

When you travel, especially when you settle down in a new country, you often bring some supplies with you. Your favourite bath products, chocolates and cookies from home, or soap that makes your clothes feel just right. Whatever it may be. Sometimes it’s to use until you find a local replacement. Yet other times it’s to give yourself a reminder of home. Something to provide you with those familiar moments of comfort and to make the transition a little easier.

There’s a big difference between packing for a weekend getaway, and a life overseas. If you’d like to know some of those differences; check out this article here!

When the items you’ve packed inevitably run out it could mean many things. That it’s time to finally get to know the local brands in your city. It’s also a sign that you’ve been in your new country for a while. Like your hair at the barber, you’re beginning to shed the persona that you stored up and brought with you. You’re starting to settle in and live in your new country.

This is a good opportunity to get out of your comfort zone and experience what the locals buy and like to enjoy. When it comes to food we can often feel intimidated by what people from other cultures eat. If you’d like to read about the confusing cultural lines between world cuisines; follow my link here.

Actually missing your new found home

Honestly, it’s a good moment to have. Because you stop lying to yourself, you stop living in memories of previous postings and past houses. It means you can finally settle in and enjoy what your unique location has to offer for you. We can learn anything from anywhere, if our hearts are open and ready.

My wife and I are were lucky enough to travel overseas while she was on her posting. So we got to travel to some cities and places close to Istanbul. When we touched down at the airport we were so excited to see just how much these new places were different from our home away from home.

If you are interested to read about my most recent travel experiences, and the state of international travel in 2021, check out this article here.

It was so amazing to see open roads, unlike in Istanbul. The sounds of other languages echoed out of radios and streets as we explored these new places. Food options we had completely forgot about were all over the main streets. There was something refreshing about being somewhere new. It was great to see what we had missed in these other places.

As we continued on though, we realised we missed something. We missed the sound of Turkish. Not being woken up by honking taxis felt strange all of a sudden. It was at that moment we discovered just how much our new home had grown on us. How much we had come to love and enjoy things that we had once found foreign and scary. This was our final and most definite sign that we had learned to adapt and that we had finally settled in to our new location.